I have to confess

I don’t know that I should be writing this post. I’ve replayed the incident over and over in my head – and I dot know who else to turn to about it.

I just feel so cheap and dirty. So wrong.

I wish I could take it back. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to do it. That it’s not worth it. That it would be so stupid to potentially mess everything up.

But I can’t.

I knew what I was doing when I entered that room. There were others like me, scattered around, the long, hard workday casting shadows on their faces as long as the one affecting my mood. I’d had enough, I was stressed, run-down and I craved the release.

After making my ‘transaction’ we found a quiet corner, away from prying eyes, and began.

She was beautiful, in all honesty. Looking back through eyes of shame I’ve already sullied the memory in my mind and tried to tell myself otherwise, but no, she was beautiful.

Her skin was warm to the touch and I felt a thrill run through me as I pressed it against my lips. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was in too deep now and I needed it.

I ran my fingers up her legs, across her thighs, and nibbled her breast. It felt so good, and though I was ashamed, it was exhilarating. My lips parted as I took her breast in my mouth, and lifted her thigh into my hand.

I knew it wouldn’t last long, it’s been a while and I was guilty of being over-excited, but, without this turning into a 50 Shades of Grey spin-off, I knew we were done as I felt her warm juices flowing over my chin.

I cleaned myself up and got out of there as quickly as I could. I felt the eyes of strangers burning into me as I left, as they quickly judged me, knowing exactly where I had been and what I’d just done.

I didn’t know how to tell anyone about this. I don’t know how I’ll break it to my partner, and I suppose that sharing it on here has helped somewhat. But please don’t think that my conscience is now clean, it is nothing of the sort and I don’t expect sympathy.

I just wanted to be honest, with myself, with you, and with everyone who knows me.

I’ve learnt my lesson and I won’t do it again, of that I am sure.

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I won’t be going back to KFC.

I’ll be updating my quest to get fit every now and then on the blog – just having a bit of fun before I get into writing about it

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