My ‘me time’ guilt…
Part of the appeal of this blog for me is the potential for interaction. Whether it be through comments on this site or social media, I always hope to write something that other people can relate to and discuss their experiences with me.
Before I became a dad, I used to enjoy going out for a few beers, going to gigs or watching my local rugby team. Nothing’s changed in that respect, it’s just finding the time to do them.
The thing is, when I’m not working, I try to spend every minute that I can with my little lad. I love being with him, I love playing with him and I love being able to watch him grow up – however quickly it might seem to be happening.
What I’ve found recently though is that I no longer ever have any ‘me’ time.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not really complaining about this. I’ll gladly give up actually going to the match in order to watch it at home with my little boy. I’m aware that he doesn’t really know what’s going on, but it still feels special to me. We can send his mum off to the bath and enjoy a bit of father and son bonding as the game is on. It sounds silly, but it means the world to me.
When I do get out to gigs, I spend a good hour beforehand overwhelmed with a crippling sense of guilt. I feel terrible for not staying home with my family, and for spending our money on having a few beers when it could be used to take us to the zoo or add to the little man’s toy collection.
In no way does this come from my other half either. She always encourages me to get out and do the things that I enjoy, so why do I feel so guilty?
Even things like taking a bath – the ultimate in ‘me time’ activities has me bothered. Ideally I’ll wait until the wee man is in bed, but that means not having much alone time with his mum, or, alternatively, waiting until she’s also in bed and then being absolutely shattered when the alarm tells me it’s time to go to work in the morning.
Do I even need ‘me time’? Shouldn’t I just be celebrating being able to spend as much time with my baby boy as I possibly can?
If anyone has any similar experiences, I’d love to hear from you.